Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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