god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I currently don't understand fingers.
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