Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
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