Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize