I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
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