Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
