I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
