I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
