Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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