trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize