Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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