they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
