come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
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