Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Randomize
