no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
