Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
