I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
