there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
He did a backflip because drugs
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
