So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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