That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
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