WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize