sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
