is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
