in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
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