this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Vodka?
Forever.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
