I smell stomach acid.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
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