if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
