Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
