I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
