i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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