Umm I'm too high to move.
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Randomize
