I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Randomize