Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
