Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
