Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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