Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
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