so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Let's get the cat blown out
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
