The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
