I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize