This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
false alarm. still invincible.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
