Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
