dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
