3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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