Did you just see the Batmobile???
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
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