Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
NoShamevember. You game?
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
