The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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