batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
