I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
