Where did you get a picture of my penis
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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