I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
