Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Randomize
