There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
