I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
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