They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
