i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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