Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize
