i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize