We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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