Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
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