I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
