Three words: puerto rican gang bang
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
