these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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