i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
