but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
My penis needs a shock collar
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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