At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
