We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
